"They" say that people come into your life for a reason and a season. I find that concept interesting. When I look at the people that are a part of my life right now, I count myself very lucky to have few, if any, people that are solely "Takers". The kind of people that can take from you but rarely give; the people that sap your energy and spirit.
I believe that people are simultaneously Givers and Takers and they can effect each other differently. A Taker from me may be a Giver to you. i accept that this is life, this is human nature, but at the same time I worry. Am I a Taker? I know I am, I know I can be incredibly selfish, but is my Taker to Giver ratio askew? Am I a 60:40 or God forbid a 90:10?
Giving and taking can also be subjective. What if the person I think I am being a Giver to isn't open to receiving and it comes across as Taking? Is the intention of Giving enough to be a Giver? If no one is there to receive are you still giving?
Sometimes, in times of crisis we revert to being huge sponges; huge Takers. In order to survive we can no longer give of ourselves and must recede into an emotional shell. How do you cope with the need to take when forced into a care giving situation? When your loved one is ill and in need of your love and support and all you want to do is retreat into your pain?
At the same time, at what point does Giving become too much? When does it turn into a form of Taking? It can; it does. When you give so much of yourself that the person you are giving to becomes overwhelmed they can start to resent your giving. Then without realizing it, you've become a Taker. A Taker of the worst kind. You know, that whole "Road to hell..." proverb.
The problem with the OVER-Giver is that, eventually, they become so draining and so self-absorbed in their role as giver, that they no longer see the forest for the trees.
It is next to impossible to let an Over-Giver know that they have crossed the line without crushing their feelings. It's devastating to watch someone pour out their soul in giving and see all of the effort, love and pain turned away because it causes pain.
Life doesn't always make it easy to see the Givers and Takers at work. Nor does life make it easy for you to see your own Give/Take reflection. How we see ourselves may not be how we are seen by others.
I can only hope that those to whom I am giving will take with open arms and from those of whom I am taking are well enough to endure my need and in turn, one day, I may be free to give to them in their time of need.
It's all a matter of balance; of give and take.
