Have you ever been told you're really good at something and then wondered what that means?
If someone tells you you're awesome at "X", doesn't their opinion depend upon their knowledge and experience with "X"? Of course it does, that was a rhetorical question, thank you.
But I wonder about other opinions, more subjective ones. Like when someone tells you you're beautiful- should you ask for a reference point? Beautiful compared to what/whom? Yes, this is a shallow question. Sorry, it's just what's on my mind.
What about skills? Am I really that great at "X"? or have you just always had a bad experience and I do alright? Or do you have no experience and can't tell bad from good?
How do you react when some says something complimentary about you and then says the same about some one else. But in your mind that other person is not at all like you and you find them less than complimentary? Basically in non-PC language... You're so Hot! (cool) She's so hot! (She is NOT!) DAMN! Does that mean I look like her? The "her" I find less than cute?
Again, I know this a shallow and superficial dialog, but if you go deeper and look at the less superficial cases, the fact still remains that I can't really know where I am on the grand scale of things. Except by using someone else as a gauge- and sometimes that makes me very uncomfortable when I look at their "yardstick". How do I measure up? Do I want to be measured by that stick?
Ugh. So I hate to even say it but, how do I measure up? How do I measure up against my own "yardstick"? I don't know, but isn't there a joke out there about 6 inches and how men and women measure the distance?
5 comments:
To quote my best friend when commenting on my own self doubt, "I can not offer advice about confidence- I can only hope that you know that I have confidence in you as a friend and collegue. To me you are- Amazing."
btw: you're a total fox. i love you.
Smile.
Nod.
Take the compliment.
Then--seperate issue--
Get out your yardstick.
Stand next to it.
Can you see over it?
If not, break off a chunk.
Now can you see over it?
Excellent.
You need to know that we love you, think you are smart and talented and foxy and funny! But you also have to appreciate all of that for yourself. You need to be using the yardstick that fits you!
are you asking us if you're Hot or Not?
I've had similar experiences. I think you are Amazing AND Hot. And I don't mean to put down the person you are referring to, who called you "hot", and the person less hot than you, "hot"... but I have found, with boys, that all they really need is a "hole and a heart beat". I don't mean to be harsh, but... I'm not bitter, I'm right!
Sometimes people use different standards of good for different folks. For instance, if I said that both your work and a student's were good. The student's may not really be good-good, but it's good for them. And then some people simply have varied tastes. (There are men who find both hotness in both Keira Knightley and Chelsea Clinton, e.g.)
-gk
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