Please sir... May I Have Some More?

I can remember being "younger" and thinking that if I made $60,000 a year, I'd be set for life. I don't need a million dollars (not that I'd turn it down mind you) I just don't need it. I have many "things" and lots of "stuff" so I really don't need more.

However, as an official adult, I am finding the age old truth that the all might dollar is nothing but a wimp. I don't make $60,000 a year, but I do ok- and am grateful for it. My husband, the glamorous pilot- currently makes less than I do. WHAT? Are you astounded? Don't all pilots make over $100,000 a month? I mean really? Well, no... in fact, the average first year pay for a co-pilot/first officer is less than $40,000 a year. And they work like demons for it too.

So to be clear, I am by no means poor and do not mean to act as if I am in the poor house. We have nice things, we have a house etc. and I am grateful for it- truly. But to come to the REAL point of all of this nonsense is this.... How do I ask for a raise? I despise asking people for more recognition.

It's not like I can walk in and say, "Hi! I've been here for 3 years without a non "cola" raise and I think you need to give me more money."

"Why? Oh you want to know why my piece of the pie should be bigger?"

"Um.... because.... umm... Hang on let me think."

Where the problem comes in has nothing to do with money. It has to do with ego and fear. I am afraid to be told, "No. You suck. In fact you should pay us to work here."

I also don't know how to sell myself- Yes I'm good at my job. But really, how on earth am I going to explain what I do and why it's important to your average "bean counter"? Half the people I meet have no idea what my job entails and about a third of those think I just muck about playing dress up.

No, my job is not required to keep society moving. In fact, the arts are often the first thing to go to the guillotine of budget cuts. But my work has value, and it's hard work too. Not just "anybody" can do my job, or my husbands for that matter.

We worked hard for our education. And now we work hard for the money, so hard for the money... (Sorry bad flashback) So we should at least make enough to pay back the student loans that got us here, right? Maybe I should use that as my justification for a raise. "Pay me so I can pay my loans, so you can have more students that can be in debt too!"

Anyhow... I'm lucky to have a department that will support my efforts to increase my piggy bank, I just wish I felt better about asking for it.

An ass out of me and me?

Assumptions and stereotypes are a mental sucker punch. Boy do I feel like an ass...

Yesterday, while standing in line for my prescription at Target, I observe a small family dynamic. Both children, boys, are dress in monochromatic blue. Jeans and serviceable shirts, nothing fancy. No logos or "bad attitude" sayings on their clothes, just two plain but clean boys. With them is their mother. She is wearing very simple black flats with nylons, an ankle lengths moss green skirt, a white button-down collared shirt and matching moss green hip length vest. Her obviously very long hair is pulled back into a severe bun at the nape of her neck. She and her children spoke with an accent, that I could only describe as Eastern European. To my eye, they appeared to be a very strict and simple family. I assumed they were something like Mennonites or Amish. So imagine my surprise when out of her small and plain black purse, Mama pulls out a Blackberry and starts to talk to someone.
Honestly my brain was stuck on stupid for a second- I just couldn't reconcile what I was seeing. But fortunately my brain finally became unstuck and kicked my own ass for being dumb. Just because someone is dressed a certain way does NOT dictate who they are. I should know this very well, considering my profession. I just found my own stereotypes and assumptions to be funny. Makes me wonder what people assume about me? Maybe I shouldn't ask...