Monday, January 14, 2008

Oh- 8?

It's hard to believe that it is now 2008. I can remember when, in the 1990s- oh so long ago- I would imagine the day I turned 24. It would be March of 2000! Wow 2000 and 24, I'd be so grown-up and old.

Needless to say, now I laugh at my naivete. 24 old? I was so dumb at 24, so lost, so confused as to who I was. How can you be grown-up if you don't know your ass from your elbow? Unfortunately, I think I may still need some anatomy lessons. At the grand old age of 31 (32 in March) I am finally starting to sort some things out about my self.

I did not know that I secretly wanted to be a rock star. Can you imagine? Me neither, but it's true. I didn't know that I would really enjoy snowboarding. I do. I really do. I fall down the mountain more often than not, but I still love it. I've also decided something- I want to take race car driving lessons. To some of you that may not be a surprise if you've driven with me, but I found it surprising none the less. I imagine I would giggle the entire time, but I don't care- I feel the need, the need for speed!

Now comes the crux of my situation- #1 I have two small children I should be caring for. I shouldn't be galloping off to relive some missed part of childhood. But... IIIIIIIIIII Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnntttttttttt toooooooooooooo! (Whining didn't work as a kid either- Damn)
#2- I have bills to pay and responsibilities to take care of. Honestly, that will never change so why should it stop me?

But you know what? I'm almost 32 years old and dammit, so what if it's taken me this long to figure some things out? Who says I CAN'T? Me? Well I think I'll just tell myself to stuff it and do these things anyway. So I don't get a record deal- who cares? Look what it did for Brittney- I don't need that circus. So I don't join the winter x-games? I think I'll survive. (I think) So I don't win the Piston Cup? As long as I don't piss my pants I'll be a winner!

Ok- So here goes- my hopes and secret dreams are out in the universe, secret no longer- Let's just see what happens huh? Either way it should be entertaining to watch on video. Maybe I'll make a bundle from my bio-pic on you-tube! Hey, it's a thought.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

A Christmas Story!

So in the pre-Christmas insanity I found myself doing a ton of driving. Whenever Randy happens to remain local during his work week I make it a point to take the kids to see him. Luckily for us, he was very local the week before Christmas. He was able to come home and see us on Sunday, we went to Burbank to visit him on Monday and finally on Friday, we were able to go to Van Nuys to see him for dinner. That's a lot of driving!

Van Nuys is far. I can't imagine how Randy used to commute there EVERYDAY for a year!! As I was saying, Van Nuys is far, add to that the holiday Friday traffic and... wow! So it took me 2 hours to get there in stop and go traffic- I left Fontana at 2:30! Soo... after the long haul to get there I was NOT looking forward to the slog home.

Randy took us to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and we enjoyed a tasty dining experience. The kids were a bit wound up from the drive but luckily it was a loud restaurant so we didn't make too much of a scene.

So after dinner I decided to delay the insanity and go to.... TARGET!! I LOVE TARGET!!

We bumble around the two story Target for a bit making our various consumer choices; enjoying the scenery of people. And now comes the whole reason for this diatribe...

I pull in to the check out line of choice and observe the two "young ladies" (I hesitate to use such words) before me- Sexy Suzy and Tarty Tricia. Both gals were wearing the oh-so-trendy aka oh-so-trashy ensemble of tight low rise jeans, mid-riff bearing tee, high heel name brand faux suede and fur boots and the quilted short waisted "jacket". Nice. Both gals had the sloppy pony tail and "I just woke up" make-up going on. But wait it get's better....

Sexy Suzy has a very visible tattoo... on her abdomen... It's the hilt of a sword...The blade is.... pointed DOWN!!! Nice.

Ok that alone is a great scenario... IT GET'S BETTER!

Trendy Tricia places her purchases on the belt and asks for two gift card at $100 each- her total was over $300. Hey it's Christmas!

Now... our final player in this mini melodrama is the cashier... Fred aka KingGamer235... Everything about him is round... his head, his belly, his glasses- EVERYTHING. Even the shape of his bald spot is perfectly round.

So Fred informs Tricia of her Grand total of..$369 and she proceeds to pull out a HUGE ROLL of $1 bills. HUGE! Now I don't know about you, but when a "lady" pulls out a grip of ones I assume one of two things... waitress or... stripper. Either way they're here to serve you.

Anyhow... As Tricia starts peeling her onion of ones, Fred, in an attempt to be flirty, asks AND I QUOTE...."Oh! Been to the casino lately?" *Grinning Roundly*

And now for the piece de resistance!!!

She looks up from her concentrated counting and looks at him with the look only an annoyed stripper can give and says, "Yeah".

That's it. Just, "Yeah" and in that one word conveyed everything! TRANSLATION: "Yeah that's it! The casino! Dumbass. I 've seen you sitting in the club a time or two. In fact I think these 5 dollars are yours from the other night."

Wow... really that's all I can say.