For in that sleep of death what dreams may come...

Death. It happens every day and eventually will effect every single one of us. Recently someone special to me died. We weren't close and I hadn't see him in over a year, but I am still saddened by his loss. He was a professor of mine and a director- there is some kind of permanent bond forged between an actor and their director; a forever kind of bond. A fellow college friend of mine went with me to visit his widow, our friend, and we picked a day where she happened to not be home! However, another college alumna was there and the three of us sat together eating dinner and reminiscing. It was a nice release for us all and I think very serendipitous. As I reflected on the evening, something occurred to me. This was the first time that I sat with people of my own generation and discussed what it was like to lose a parent. It was the first time I have been with people that know what I have been through- people my own age. I think that is an important point. While my Mother had lost her parents, she was needing to cope with the loss of her spouse and I didn't want to burden her with my grief. There is only so much sympathy one can accept from those that have not lost a parent. This is not a slam- just a fact. While people can sympathize with your loss, it is remarkable how it feels to have true empathy. I imagine this is true for other types of loss as well, miscarriage, child loss, divorce etc. I guess that explains why there are so many support groups out there. Please don't think I am in any way belittling all of the support and affection I was and am given in regards to my father's passing. I am simply reflecting on the how it can be comforting to be with people that truly DO know what you've been through and how it feels. What really comes into focus for me is that I need to be mindful of the type of advice and comfort I give to others- perhaps I may not be saying what is most comforting or needed. Death comes to us all... touches us all... I pray that I can bring true comfort to those in need when and how they need it.